Unknown biological father

[John Paul]

Hello there.  I have had the suspicion for many years that the person I have listed as my father (Forrest Jones, Sr) is not my real biological father, but was just the guy who my mother had been to married for many years (1946-1988).  I was born in 1955.  Now, after taking the 23andMe and Ancestry.com DNA tests, I have come to the conclusion that he is in fact not my biological father. 

So, I guess the question is what do I do now, as far as TNG is concerned?  Do I detach myself from that family and create a new one with just my mother and myself?  The biological father is still unknown at this time, but all evidence points to the fact that Forrest Jones Sr is NOT my biological father.

Any suggestions for sorting this will be appreciated,

[Chris Lloyd]

I wouldn't change anything - perhaps add a note of your suspicion/belief and add details of your biological father, if and when you identify him. Your family unit is what you grew up with - I guess to some extent it is little different from adoption or even surrogacy, in 'family' terms.

I have a neighbour who donated an egg to be fertilised by a separate donor for implant into a surrogate for her gay brother to have children.....

[John Paul]

32 minutes ago, Chris Lloyd said:

I wouldn't change anything - perhaps add a note of your suspicion/belief and add details of your biological father, if and when you identify him. Your family unit is what you grew up with

Thanks for the suggestion Chris.

[ADC]

I agree with Chris - don't change anything for now. If you do decide to make changes, I would recommend making a full backup of everything first, so that if you later change your mind again, you can at least restore things to how they were. 

One idea might be to start a new Tree within TNG once more information about your biological father becomes available, so you have one tree with your biological father and one with the family unit you grew up in. 

I have seen similar discussions elsewhere, in fact I don't believe your circumstances are that uncommon, it's just that DNA testing is bringing a lot more cases to light! I don't believe there are any 'right' or 'wrong' answers - it's your genealogy and you can do whatever suits you and feels right. 

[Katryne]

John, what we have called genealogy sources since centuries is made of papers, of tales. Genealogical research is built on written documents: civil registers, censuses, notarial acts, wills, marriage contracts... But paper genealogy is as reliable as History with a capital letter, which is always questionable because of the propaganda spread by the powerful and the influential: History is a communication tool.

And history, without a capital letter, on the scale of the individual, on the scale of man, is also the same. The human filter disguises the truth, which will never be more than a mirage that can never be reached. Genealogy cannot be an exact science any more than history. There is no such thing as genealogical truth: it is only the transcription of what our ancestors, our predecessors, have allowed to be seen, it is the study of the way they organized themselves in families, in the larger framework of society. It is a social science.

On the other hand, genetic genealogy research is a recent technology, not really 100% sure, and moreover it has been widely appropriated by the merchants of the temple, who are mainly interested in making profits without much consideration for scientific accuracy.

What is important in a family is the way we have lived it, even when a possible scientific reality reveals us that it is not the truth. What could be the interest of this alternative genetic truth, if not for a medical research of genetic disease?

But maybe I am influenced by the French culture. In our country, genetic research is forbidden and sanctionable by law, except for medical and judicial investigations.

 

[edglimited]

14 hours ago, John Paul said:

So, I guess the question is what do I do now, as far as TNG is concerned?  Do I detach myself from that family and create a new one with just my mother and myself?  The biological father is still unknown at this time, but all evidence points to the fact that Forrest Jones Sr is NOT my biological father.

Don't change anything JP. Leave it as it is or as @ADC suggested, start another tree. There is also nothing wrong with adding another parent either in the same tree.

I would suggest, that you upload your DNA result to either Ancestry, FTDNA or MyHeritage, to see if there are any DNA Matches, or potential matches. But those Sites open up cans of worms. The best Site I have seen and (still) used is GedMatch. ---> GedMatch

Drew..

[Newfloridian]

Agreed - also sent you a PM of a particularly famous case of this dilemma

Alan

[John Paul]

Katryne:  Thank you for your philosophic post, but I believe the modern DNA testing can be a lot more accurate than paper research.  I mean paper and feet on the ground research is great, but it doesn't show you how you are genetically related, which in this case is what I'm looking for.  What I am looking for won't be found by paper research, since silence and skeletons in the closet won't/can't be found that way. And in my family, silence and skeletons were wide spread.  Did not realize genetic research is banned in France.

Chris, ADC & Drew:  thanks.  That's what I guess I'll do until and if I find out who my biological father is.  I have the 23andMe test online at my 23andMe.com tree and am in contact with several of my new 1st cousins.  I also have my Ancestry.com test activated in my tree at Ancestry and I'm in contact with several other new 1st cousins.  There is no evidence at all that I have any DNA shared with anyone from Mexico, Arkansas, New Hampshire or Vermont; it's all Lithuanian and German and Scandinavian.  It is probably going to be interesting, since my situation had to have come about through an affair or one night stand on my mother's part; her and the ole man were living separately during that time frame (1954-1956), and anyone who could actually tell me the truth is dead and gone now.  Only my brother, who is 8 years older that me may know, but I doubt it, since he hated living where we grew up with the ole man around.  He left home as soon as he could, leaving me to fend for myself.  I have to admit my ole man wasn't much of a father to me, wasn't much of a husband to my mother and being a merchant seaman was gone for 2-3 years at a time, so...well you get my drift.

[Katryne]

Just a word about the illegality of genetic research in France: as a result there are far fewer results from our country and it has been reported that this distorts the results in other countries, where it is believed that there may be genetic connections in France.

[RickM]

On 4/10/2023 at 7:49 PM, Katryne said:

Just a word about the illegality of genetic research in France: as a result there are far fewer results from our country and it has been reported that this distorts the results in other countries, where it is believed that there may be genetic connections in France.

Interesting you say that Katryne.. According to my mother my paternal Grandmother was of the belief she descended from French lines, but as you say, little to show DNA wise for me..

 

[StevieBB]

Interesting reading all the above.  On a slightly different line we found through old fashioned research that my partners Grandfather was in fact not the biological Grandfather. There was always a rumour and Cineese whispers....  But DNA Showed he couldn't be the Granfather..  We left the site as it was and the years past.  Then out of the blue my partner was contacted by someone who was a 1st Cousin match.  To make matters even more intigueing the Cousin was adopted but knew who her biological parents were through her adoption paperwork her parents (adopted) had.  But as far as we could see there was no family link at all.  Then by chance another first cousin appeared who we contacted and also could not find a link. But on chatting we found the two first cousins we also linked via DNA...   So back to good old paper research we managed to find the common ancester of both my partners new cousins and herself. 

With this knowledge we then worked forward and narrowed down her grandfather to 3 possible brothers.  Then through further paper research of electoral rolls and registrations we could rule out 2 of the brothers as they never ventured within 200 miles of my partners Grandmother.  As this was circa 1920 this was a very plauseable deduction.  We then found the 3rd brother joined the Army and was stationed at the correct time within 2 miles of her Grandmother and not only that when he left the Army he settled within 3 miles before marrying someone else 10 years later.

So, I think there is room for both research tools to work hand in hand and as more people join the DNA trail no doubt there will be more "finds" and secrets unturned.

We eventually decided to add a second Parent for her father and branch it Family and Biological.

 

[RickM]

11 hours ago, StevieBB said:

We eventually decided to add a second Parent for her father and branch it Family and Biological.

Indeed the 'Web' of paper on web.. What an amazing story.. And I think a very good way to deal with the issue..

 

[John Paul]

12 hours ago, StevieBB said:

So, I think there is room for both research tools to work hand in hand and as more people join the DNA trail no doubt there will be more "finds" and secrets unturned.

i agree 100 percent with that statement.